Upside down Audi

Little known fact about me: When I’m really, REALLY frustrated I flip upside down.     I have no idea why this is true about me, but I’ve done it since I was a kid.    Today I have spent a lot of time with the blood rushing to my head.   

I’ve been paying attention to myself a lot lately to see what it is that triggers my frustration and I think I’ve got it pegged.  So often in my life there is something big going on that is overwhelming enough that I fight hard not to think about it.  When I have something big hiding under my skin, all the little things start to really bother me.  One misspoken word, one bad IV night, one small mistake and I’m a mess.   I find it funny about myself that I’m able to let God handle the big things, but little things keep me up at night.   

Tonight the little thing that’s got me upside down is that I don’t have my license.   It’s such a little thing, but it’s driving me nuts tonight.  Hahah! Driving me! Get it? Haha! I didn’t even see that joke coming.  

 It’s so frustrating to not be able to go where I want to go. My family, my father especially, are so so sweet to take me where I need to go, but I hate asking them to take me places I want to go but don’t really need to go to.  It’s a freedom most people have that I’ve never known just to hop in a car and go to the store or leave a party when you want to.   

I feel so silly for being upset about this, but I’m a big fan of open honesty and tonight I am almost in tears about this.  I’m 25 and have never been able to go someplace all by myself.  Sometimes I feel like I’m in a cage.  It’s a beautiful cage and I have no right to complain.

Lord, teach me to be content and thankful for all the amazing blessings you have given me. Help me to trust You even when i don't understand.  Little or Big, I know that You are in control and nothing is beyond your miracles.  I am whole, license or not.

I have a dear friend who calls me Audi which is one of my favorite nick names. I guess if I can’t drive a luxury car, I will just be one instead. :-)

Sauna

As part of my medical plan, I have started using a dry sauna 3 days a week. 

I had my first sauna (Is that how you say it? “I had a sauna”?) yesterday.  It was kind of fun.  I love the way it smells, and I love being warm.  I kind of feel like a princess inside the little room.  I’ve always loved small spaces, the smell of wood and being warm… it’s pretty much my favorite spot right now.  Today I sat in there, listened to Adventures in Odyssey (Laugh at me if you want) and looked through CB2 magazines.  Happy!  It’s really great being in there, but I kind of feel like I just ran a marathon when I get out.  It’s very draining.  Today I knew I was having a bad day because I was in the 115 degree room for 20 min and was cold the whole time and never managed to break a sweat. Silly body.

I am excited to be doing something so good for my body that doesn’t also involve damaging it. This is such a blessing. And did I mention it smells really good? 

Whit’s music playlist for today.

These are some of my favorite non-religious songs and what I found myself listening to tonight.

Nature boy – Nat King Cole

It’s just so… jazz.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iq0XJCJ1Srw

If I fell – The Beatles.

Performed by Maroon 5.

I really have no idea why I love this song so much, but I just do.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2p1N0ce6-rM

I really have no idea why I love this song so much, but I just do.

Fix You- Coldplay

I listened to this song about 50 times (no kidding) on the way home from South Africa. It’s important to me.     

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aeEEFKeGcTc

 

Do you remember – Jack Johnson

Again, this song is really a big deal to me. I’m not sure why.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Y5kxOGhqrw&feature=related

 

Dream On – Aerosmith

I have no good excuse for why I like this song.  Go ahead, judge me. I admit it. I love this song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jb4kvh1XZ14

 

Falling Slowly – Glen Hansard and Markéta Irglová

This one is a new one for me, but I just really love it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JPbC2YrUUsI

 

 Here Comes The Sun – Beatles

Come on, this song is just so happy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hsv34Ng_Rik

 

Fly Me To The Moon – Frank Sinatra.

You just can’t beat this song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j9h0MNMfKuQ

 

1000 miles – Mark Schultz

It’s just so pretty.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wfR9VUz2BxE

 

I’m Gonna Be – The Steven Curtis Chapman version

This song just makes me happy. I love the original Scottish band singing it just because their voices are happy, but the words are not so cool.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AeLzCAnx_fM

 

Till Kingdom Come – Coldplay

Yeah, I just love this song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hd8k2jy3g9E

DYNAMITE

There is a verse in 2 Corinthians many Christians have long since had memorized.  The ESV reads it as

For the sake of Christ then, I am content with my weakness, insults, hardships, persecution, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 

It’s always been one of my favorite verses as it speaks so clearly to those days we all have were it feels like our lives are out of control. (To which I have about a million)  I was reading my devotions today in the book Streams in the Desert.   It said that that verse is more accurately translated

Therefore I take pleasure in being without strength, being insulted, experiencing emergencies, and being chased and forced into a corner for Christ’s sake; for when I am without strength, I am DYNAMITE.

As I read this verse translated this way, people and situations were filling my mind. I felt like I wanted to send a copy of the verse to everyone I know with a letter attached that read   “Did you know you could be dynamite for Christ?”   It’s what I’ve always wanted to be.  It’s what I long for!  I didn’t know that all my efforts and striving to escape my weaknesses so I could DO something for Christ, was really me running away from a gift.

I want to better myself. I want to be more Christ-like today then I was yesterday. I want to grow and change and experience, BUT I will never be God (Thank goodness) and so I will always have weakness. There is no escaping it or growing all the way out of it. THAT’S OK!  “For when I am without strength, I am DYNAMITE”   I can just picture demons sounding the warning to each other when I open my eyes each morning. “She’s awake and she doesn’t feel well. Look out! She’s gonna do something big for Christ today!”  They scatter in all directions, trying to escape the explosion.  (Insert my conquering laugh here)  I love this!

In all things we are more then conquerors through Him who loved us.  For I am sure that neither death nor life, not angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, not powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Romans 8:37+38

Not even my weakness will separate me from the love of Christ. I am MORE then a conqueror, I am dynamite!

The joys of loosing my mind.

So I'm completely loosing my brain function and in the process losing a lot of my possessions. I'm a wee bit famous in my household for knowing where everything is at all times. I can even find things that belong to other people really fast. Well, I could do those things. Recently I can't remember where I put anything and have such a hard time finding anything. Right now I am missing a very important object and it's driving me mad!  I feel like I can't accomplish anything while it's missing.  A friend of mine keeps telling me that this is the way the rest of the world feels and I'm not going crazy I'm just becoming normal, but this is new for me so it's not fun.
How do you people live this way? How do you function while the missing sock is somewhere in the laundry? AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
Yup, gonna need some popcorn. It's just that kind of day.

25

So my birthday yesterday was rather dramatic. It started out with me throwing up, add in a little family disagreements, some crying, some moping, one unexpected wall placement, (OK, that could have just been me) and you get one really lame start to a birthday. But, as the day went on it got better and better.
I got to see my grandparent which was very nice!

 I got to see my family which always fills me with great joy! I am so thankful for them!  

I got a really happy pineapple and then I ate grilled pineapple.

It was delicious! 

I ended the day with the worlds best friends and beating their butts at Nertz! Booyah!

I got some beautiful gifts and felt very loved and deeply blessed!   My God has the power to redeem. 

I love this picture! It cracks me up!

Playing Nertz and eating lots of sugar!

The worlds most beautiful trash can. A gift from my parents. Made me so crazy happy!

Amazing knifes from my sister! (I had to take this picture while my hair looked this cool. )

Mac and Cheese that has no gluten in it! Yeah baby!

IVY!

Aren't they beautiful?!

The joy of all joy...FLOWERS!

:-)