God Is Big Enough

Thursday, January 24, 2013

Update 1-24-13

January 24, 2013 at 1:44pm

Hey my people,
A lot of you have asked for updates from me and you haven’t gotten one. SORRY! The reason you haven’t heard from me is that my brain is broken. I’ve had a lot of trouble thinking through stuff this last week. It’s hard for me to finish thoughts and getting my brain on paper or even in text form has not been my best skill.

BUT, I love how much you guys care and want to know how I am so I’m gonna work on this and see what I can get out even if it takes me a long time. (I started this note in March, 2011. Ha! Just kidding)

Ok So I was in the hospital for 5 days, 2 weeks ago for a seizure study. LONG, COOL SOTRY! (Hopefully I’ll get to it soon) The short answer to how that went is that it was crazy hard, but God did some cool things while I was there. We are still working on getting into seeing my Doctor to get full results but I was told before I was released that I am not epileptic but I do have epileptic seizures. (Yeah, I have no idea how that works) They took me off of my seizure med and started me on a new one. I have only twitched once since then (amazing!) but I am having a lot of mental problems on the new med. For about 2 hours after I take it (twice a day) I pretty much have to stay away from people because I feel like everyone is going to slap me. I also almost have a mental break down if someone asks me a question in this time. It’s strange. But it doesn’t last and I am learning to time it right so I am alone when I take it in the morning and sleeping soon after I take it at night. Works pretty well.

As far as my stutter goes, that depends on the day. Somedays I am pretty good. I have a stutter but it’s not too distracting or frustrating and I can communicate well. Most days though it’s pretty bad and talking takes so much energy and gives me a bad headache. On bad days my intonation is missing and I feel like my vocabulary is stunted when I try and think. It’s hard to communicate and I try and talk as little as possible so my head doesn’t fall off. I am working on finding a speech therapist (not happy) & I am learning more and more signs every day so I can sign instead of talk when my head hurts. This is not as helpful as one would think at first since no one else understands signs, but that’s ok. My family and I know each other well enough that we can make up our own signs and communicate pretty well. You all would be very amused at some of the signs my father comes up with. Haha!

I’ve been having a lot of trouble being cold all the time. My room has the sun and its own heater and I can get it about 82 in here and I’ll still sit here and shiver. I hate this. It’s so annoying and I have trouble getting stuff done when I’m so cold.

BUT I am happy! Really happy. I am coming out of a very dark season and I am learning to be thankful for so much and to live in the moment God has given me and stop freaking out about the past or the future. It is nice to be getting some of my joy back at long last!

I love you all so much! I’m so sorry it’s hard for me to keep up with you all right now, but know that I love you and pray for you all so much!
Whit

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Health Update

December 25, 2012 at 6:22pm

My dear friends,
I wanted to write d update you all on some health issues I have going on right now. Not many people know yet and it will likely stay that way for a while. It is very hard for me to write right now and it takes me a long time so I am going to try and keep to point.

My port is broken and very painful. After 6 ½ hours in the ER on Saturday we are going to see my surgeon tomorrow (Wednesday). It is likely it will need to be replaced but we are praying for a miracle and that this one will last.

My seizures have been increasing over the last month. Saturday night I had the worst and longest ever. I have no memory of this, but when my parents found me they said I was speaking with a strong stutter and very hard to understand. It’s 3 days later and I still have a bad stutter although my family says it sounds like it’s getting better. It is VERY hard for me to think through sentences and talking gives me like an ice cream headache. Today I am working on learning sign language and other hand gestures to make it easier and less painful to communicate. (Also less frustrating for my family since it takes me a long time to get a word out and it's not always the one I meant to say)

I get admitted into the UofT hospital on the 7th of January for a 5-7 day seizure study to try and find out what is going on. I’m excited about it but I’m sure it will be hard to be off all my meds for that long.

My dear cousin is getting married on the 5th and my brother and I are the photographers. I have been SOOOOO excited about this event and have felt very faith filled that God will give me the health I need to get through it. Please be praying that I can be a full blessing that day and can do my job properly.

I am having a hard time thinking clearly and get confused easily. Because of this I haven’t been able to write or text much and clearly talking is almost impossible so I’m really sorry I have been so quiet and will most likely stay that way for a bit. If you have questions feel free to ask and I will try to answer. You can always call my parents at (419) 452-7212 or text my sister at (419) 551-8836 and they can answer stuff too.

I love you all and just want you to know how thankful I am to have people in my life who are faithful to pray and patient with me and understanding of each new, strange season.

I am happy and blessed and doing my best to face these challenges while living out God’s great grace.

Merry Christmas my dear, dear loved ones!

Friday, September 28, 2012

Surgery Update

Surgery update

September 28, 2012 at 10:35am

Hey everybody,
First off I apologize too all you people who got a billion text from me complaining about how loud my house was. I do tend to ramble after anesthesia. :-) I really did have like Spiderman hearing yesterday. We think it’s because of the patch they put on my ear to help with nausea. Speaking of which, I always throw up a lot after surgery and I haven’t thrown up one single time. They gave me three different meds to keep my stomach calm and IT WORKED! I have even eaten!

My understanding is that the meds will be out of system by about tomorrow and my stomach will be back to its “normal” upset self, but I am really enjoying this non sick time.

Surgery was a bit difficult but they got a port in. I didn’t have much fat for them to work with (bad) and I had too much scar tissue so they put my port in higher than the last few.

My tongue got cut from my breathing tube which really hurts but my biggest problem is that I apparently got two dislocated ribs. I’m not really sure how they dislocated but it’s pretty bad. We don’t know what to do about this since I can’t ride in the car well or have anyone touch my torso without crying, so getting ribs put back in place sounds like torture. We are still praying about what we should do about this since it’s very hard for me to breath.

I am so deeply thankful that they were able to get the port in which I KNOW is thanks to God’s grace in response to the prayers of all of you. Thank you so much for all your sweet, encouraging words and wonderful prayers.
My God Is Big Enough!
Much love,
whit

Surgery prep face

Surgery prep face

Beautiful flowers my dear Little Sweet brought me!

The after

Thursday, September 27, 2012

The Plan

The plan

September 27, 2012 at 8:20am

Hey my people, just a quick note to explain the plan for today.
In a little bit I head into the hospital to have a new IV Port put into my chest. The plan is to use that port to get nutrition and fluids directly into my blood stream. The reason for this is that I haven't been able to eat or drink much over the last few months and it's gotten bad enough that I need help fast.
The docs are very worried that they will not be able to get a new port into my chest because of old scar tissue and because I have lost so much weight that I don't have any fat for them to put the port into which just complicates things. Also because I am so dehydrated my veins are very fragile and that makes things harder as well.
This is a surgery I have had three times before so I’m used to it, but it’s a much bigger deal this time because of the complications.
Also last night I started sneezing on and off which is not cool because sneezing when you have fresh stitches in your chest in not going to go over well.
I am not able to take a lot of pain medication right now because I don’t have food in my system so recovery from today could be slow and hard.
All these things add up to the simple fact that God is going to have to just be the man in charge today so that all this can go according to His plan. I know that He is big enough and He can deal with all these little details.
Thanks for your prayers everyone. I will try and update when I can.
Whit

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Strange and funny things about today

April 18, 2012 at 10:50pm

I broke our like 100 year old cabinet today. Snapped it right down the wood. Oops!

It’s April 18th and our famer just planted his field. IT’S APRIL!

The top of the electric poll across the street spun around in the wind and broke. Good, old Toledo Edison was here to fix it straight away.

I had a dream about being a slave, but I was like awesome at it and gained some new family through it. Oddly enough it was a great dream.

I watched the video of my nephew saying he's adorable like 4 times because it really is so adorable.

I was so unhappy today and yet I was joyful.

I spent a long time trying to figure out what the difference is between a pancake and a flapjack. Anybody?

Sunday, January 29, 2012

Whit's CRAZY week

Whit's week

February 29, 2012 at 4:43pm

NEW LIFE RULE: NO SURGERY WITHOUT AT LEAST A 24 HOUR NOTICE.
It’s a good rule, don’t you think? J
This last week or so has been so ridiculously crazy. I know I’ve written about some of this already, but my brain needs to start from the top.
2/21/12 Tuesday – Whit goes into the ER “profoundly dehydrated”
2/24/12 Friday – Whit spends day in the hospital having tests done on her Liver and Gallbladder
2/27/12 Monday – Whit’s doctor receives test results from Friday’s test and immediately calls and asks Whit to come into the office first thing the next morning. (Whit freaks)
2/28/12 Tuesday – Whit goes in for doc apt at 8:30am. By 11 Whit is sitting on a surgeons table having a PICC line put in. (Strangest day ever)

What a crazy week it’s been!

So here are a few of the details. Doctor said yesterday that this not drinking thing has gotten out of hand and he wanted me to get IV fluids ASAP before I die. He also decided I need to go back on the antibiotic I was on before which is an IV medication. I need to have my gallbladder looked at by a surgeon and likely have it removed soon. This was all just a lot to take in all at once and my head was still swirling as we quickly left his office and went to my brothers so I could take a shower before my surgery. (Bad day to decide to shower at night) They got me in right away at the hospital and before I even knew what was happening they were tying me down to the table and putting a tourniquet on my shoulder. Now, I’m a planner to my core and it often take my mind a long time to process stuff so having unexpected surgery was really overwhelming for me. I think I would have handled the pain better if I had had time to prepare. They had a lot of trouble with the surgery because my veins are so small and dehydrated. Because I haven’t been able to eat much I had to do the surgery without pain killers which was…unexplainable hard. They had to try a lot of times before they got the tube into my arm which was so painful. I was having a hard time not throwing up or passing out because of the pain and just when I thought I was going to have to tell them to give up, the Doc says “I don’t think we are going to get it and will have to start over on the other side”. I kind of wanted to shoot him, but just started praying that God would make a way for me to get through this. As I started to pray the doc excitedly announced that He had gotten in. The worst part of the surgery was that the doctor had to rip open my vain in my upper arm to fit the tube in because my vein was so small. This is very much not normal and will take extra time to heal. It is probably the main reason that I am in so much pain today and am still unable to use the line. The tube starts just above my armpit on my left arm and goes all the way to my heart and, baby, I can feel every inch of it. Not cool! I’ve had a PICC in before so I’m kind of used to this and know all too well how much my body hates having strange objects in it. Part of my disease is that I feel things normal people can’t feel and my body processes so much feeling as pain. In a week or so I should be able to use my arm again, but only gently. Right now my whole left side is very sore and very weak. I have to use my right arm to even list my left one up.

As of now, I can’t use the line yet as it’s not healed enough which means that I need to get liquid down the old fashion way or I can’t take my pain killers. As I’m sure you’ve gathered, my pain killers are kind of vital to my life today. I am praying and trusting that God will help me drink so I can stay medicated. I had to skip a does this morning and I can’t really function in that much pain. It’s so crazy. The spot where my vein is torn feels like death inside my living body.

I’m really overwhelmed by everything right now and how much everything has to change now because of all this (information for another time) but I am also so thankful to have a God who is not surprised by anything and so faithful to me. I think maybe more than ever I am thankful to have so many praying for me. It makes me tear up (in a good way) when you all write to say you are praying. I know that God is listening and acting on your prayers and I’m sure that is what’s getting me through this craziness.
Thank you! I love you all and am just so thankful for such a wonderful friends and such a faithful God.

Friday, August 19, 2011

Trying to Shut Down My Brain

Trying to shut down my brain

August 19, 2011 at 1:19am

What does your last outgoing text say? “Yeah, I do too. There is this mysterious peace about it”
What did you do today overall? Spent the day in Toledo at the hospital and running errands
Did you kiss someone more than 20 times in 2011? Umm on the check, yep
How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust? A lot. I tend to trust men much faster the girls.
Have you ever talked to someone when they were high? Yep.
How often do you hold back what you want to say? About every day.
Your ex is on the side of the road, on fire. what do you do? Put him out!
It's 2 in the morning and you get a text message, who is it most likely? Seth or Alex or Adam or Bri
Ever cried while you were on the phone with someone? I try crazy hard not to, but yes.
Who did you last ride in a car with besides family? Jeremy in his awesome new car that I may or may not name “the force”
How well do you know the last male you texted? Pretty well considering how long we have known each other, but not that well really.
Are any of your friends so close that you consider them family? Yep
Are you good at giving directions? Oh my no!
What does your mom call you? Who knows. A new word comes out of her almost every time she talks to me.
Are you wearing any make up right now? Not a stitch.
Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you? A lot of them.
Have you ever been nice to someone who treated you like crap? Lots of times, but I’m working on it.
Are you nice to everyone? No, but I wish I was.
Is it hard for you to be happy for someone else? No, it’s much easier then to be happy for myself.
How long have you lived in your current home? 3 years
First person to speak to you in 2011? Courtney I’m sure.
Are you afraid of getting your heart broken? Always
Do you like mac n cheese? Deeply!
Relationship between you and the last person you texted? We are dear friends.
Can you remember who texted you last without checking? Yes
Someone knocks on your window at 2am, what do you say? I think I would scream before anything else.
If there was a large spider in the room, would you stay? After I killed it, sure.
Are you taller than 5'5? Yes, but I’m not trilled about that.
Do you put ketchup on top of your french fries or on the side? On the side. I love this question BTW
Who was the first person you talked to today? My father who woke me up
Do you think relationships are hard? One of the hardest things ever, but worth it.
What do you currently hear right now? Star trek and my dog snoring.
Would you ever dye your hair blonde? Soon I think.
Would you ever run away and get married with no notifications to your family? I hope not, but it could happen.
If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you? Yup.
What was the last thing you cried about? Insecurity.
If you got kicked out of your house, where would you go? The Ayers
Is it easy to pretend everything's okay for you? Yes
Do you think it makes him weak when a guy cries? Very much no.
Do you think age matters in relationship? Well yeah, but the older I get the less of a deal it is.
If you could make your lips bigger, would you?? Umm no.
Who took your profile picture? Probably me. I don’t remember what one is up right now.
When is your next vacation and where? A long time from now I’m guessing, but I really want to go to Northern MI to visit my family, New York to visit my other family, California to go to my dear friend’s wedding, Georgia to meet my little fish, and Cincinnati to pretend to meet someone I will never get to meet.
Do you think you would make a good parent? I hope so.
What is your favorite kind of ice cream? I hate this question because it changes all the time.
Have you ever liked someone who treated you like crap? Often
Two months ago, can you remember who you liked? Yep
Do you think people ever change? Yeah I do. God is cool like that.
How are you feeling right now? Like I should be emailing people instead of doing this nonsensical silliness