I used to think it was one of my best tricks to be happy despite circumstances. I used to think it was something I'd learned to do, but I know better now. What I knwo now is that it's all thanks to God's grace and His grace alone. He is due all the glory. Now, another thing I've learned is that it's NOT God's doing when I have a bad attitude about things. That's all me baby! Sometimes I don't feel bad but feel like I should. This week I'm missing out on seeing friends I haven't seen in months. I really don't have words to say how dissipated I am about this. It brakes my heart to disappoint others. I feel like there are no words to convince them that my lack of attendance doesn't imply a lack of love or devotion. I wish I knew how to explain this. Despite my displeasure about all this (especially right now) I am happy and content. Things are so... undetermined in my life right now on so many levels, but I trust with all my heart that God can and will handle all, redeem all, and hold me through it all.
HE IS BIG ENOUGH!
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