Night after night, I have this amazingly beautiful dream that I marry a man I’m endlessly in love with and about 12 months later we have a beautiful baby girl named Claire. She’s lovely. She looks just like him mixed with a blond version of my sister. She’s seems to fill every moments with extra life and love. She coos even when she cries and the only moments she really gets upset is when she’s getting her clothes changed. (Just like my nephews.) The dream is just so beautiful. It’s a picture of everything I ever hoped my life would be until it nears the end. When Claire is one she leaves her father and I and goes back to heaven where she came from. Her death is deep and open and raw. Going to her funeral is hard but perfect. It’s somehow peaceful, like we all have a real knowing that her life was meant to only last a short while. That she was a gift we were meant to keep only in our hearts and not in our arms. I can’t help but wonder why this dream keeps coming to me. I wake up from my sleep feeling so at peace and content with my life. I pray that whatever my life may hold that God’s grace is as evident through life’s tragedy’s as it is in my dream.
Lord, whatever my life my end up looking like, thank You for holding it in Your arms.
Some times I read your blog and I find myself absolutely humbled at who you are. I know I often say "I want to be like you when I grow up" but in my heart of hearts... I mean that. Some days, you are just a reminder to me of what Christ desires of our lives! Hugs!
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