Scars

I think scars are beautiful things. I had a friend growing up who had a huge scar on his face. I always thought it was one of the most attractive parts of him. It made him mysterious and intriguing.  I love hearing the stories behind people’s scars because I want to share in people’s pain and I want to know the dark stories in a persons life. I think it helps me love them better.  One of my favorite scars on myself serves as a reminder of my clumsiness. I was playing catch in the house with a friend and during a lunge for the ball (Which I’m pretty sure I didn’t catch) I sliced my wrist on a wire hanger we were using as a t.v. antenna.  The scar is barely visible now, but I still know it’s there and it makes me smile when I see it. I’m not entirely sure why. Just a reminder of a happy childhood I guess.

          In the last 2 years I have gone from having few scars to having many.  I currently have 10 surgery related scars and will most likely have more before my life is through.  I may often claim that I acquired these lacerations in a knife fight with an Armenian gang, but the truth of it is that I got them on an operating table by professionals trying to heal me. Three of my scars are very prominent and hard to hide. They are a constant reminder of what I’ve been through and also a reminder of what’s to come as those same scars will one day have to be reopened. 

          Do you ever feel that way? Like your scars serve as reminders of what’s to come more than what’s already happened? Fear creeps in when we remember the past and we dread going through it again so much that we convince ourselves it’s inevitable. Maybe your scar is a broken heart, financial destitution, a nervous breakdown, or health issues. Maybe you dread the deaths of your family after suffering loss in the past. Maybe you are overwhelmed by the thought of moving again the next time your husband gets laid off. 

          I think almost everyone has something they fear and it’s almost always linked to a past scar.  One of the things I like about my scars is that they prove that I survived.  It may have taken weeks, sometimes months to recover, but I recovered. My chest and neck are not still bleeding.  I’m not gonna lie, my scars still hurt, but not like they used to.  Life is gonna be painful and sometimes that pain never really goes away quite all the way, but that doesn’t dilute God’s grace on our lives or His ability to redeem.  If I hadn’t gone through the surgeries that gave me my scars then I wouldn’t be able to administer the medication that is keeping me alive.  Perhaps if you hadn’t of gone through what you went through then God wouldn’t have a clear avenue to speak His truth into your life effectively now.

          Maybe someone is going to break your heart again and it’s inevitable that loved ones are going to die, but as a child of God you do not find yourself in a knife fight with an Armenian gang; you are in the ever capable hands of a God who wants nothing more than to heal you. He wants to redeem your past scars and help you through your future ones. 

I pray today that your life’s scars serve as a reminder to you that you survived and that God has not and will not abandon you.